The dark parts. . . .

The past few weeks have been rough.  Real rough.  I have spent the majority of my days lying in bed, watching Netflix, eating chocolate and gummy worms, depressed and homesick.  All I've wanted to do is sleep all the time.  Since getting back to Brisbane after spring break, I have been completely and utterly homesick.  I have lost all motivation to do homework.  I have lost all motivation to do much of anything, besides sleep, lay in bed, and watch an unhealthy amount of Netflix.  I have weird dreams every night.  My assignments have suffered.  The inside of my head has been dark...so very dark.  Emotionally, mentally, and physically, I am unwell.  Ever fiber of my body aches.  My muscles hurt.  My body is exhausted.  Emotionally, I am a wreck.  Mentally, I'm unstable.  I cannot seem to work up the motivation to do my homework or to care about my grades (which is something I've always cared about before).  All that I can focus on or think about is how much I want to be home. I miss my home.  I miss my family.  I miss my friends.  I want to hug my mom.  I want to be wrapped up in my dad's arms.  I want to see my sisters and brothers, to talk to them, to laugh with them, to hug them all. To be sure, Australia is wonderful and I have enjoyed it immensely.  I don't take such an opportunity as this lightly and I am so grateful that I was able to spend this semester studying in Australia.  I have learned so much during my time here and have grown and changed so much as well.  I am not the same person I was three months ago.  The Lord has taught me so much.  If I were to go back in time, I would still choose to study abroad in Australia.  However, I am so ready to be back home.  I guess this time has shown me that, at this point in my life, living overseas is not for me.  I was planning on going overseas once I graduate, so this has been a good test to see how I handle it (not very well, obviously.  Four months is long enough).

Yesterday, I went to the CHC Beach Day with some lovely people from CHC and enjoyed a relaxing day while putting off doing homework for one more day. Today, I finally forced myself to write an essay that is due next week.  I've been putting it off for days.  I also managed to find the energy to clean my room, do laundry, wash my bed sheets, vacuum my bedroom and bathroom, and clean the kitchen (although that was just me procrastinating and putting off the essay, but still).  I am struggling but I am hanging in there.  I know that I can make it through the next three weeks till I return home.  And I know I will desperately miss Australia and the relationships and friendships that I have built with people here once I am gone.  So I'm trying my hardest to hang on and enjoy my last few weeks here, despite how homesick I am.  Prayers are vastly appreciated, as I attempt to finish this semester out over the next three weeks.